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Snack #19: Stocks & Lunch Money

We want to be the best, all the time, if not at something then at least at who we are, but it's impossible. I just thought about it last week, as I had an amazing day, the best I had in weeks, after a stretch of travel that left me drained and disoriented for 2 weeks. I practiced all my habits, did a good amount of work, felt creative, and even physically felt good. The next day was a crash - it's not that I was depressed all of the sudden, but a change of mental state is rarely a switch, I found that it's more like a stock on the public market. You got a lot of ups and downs in the short term, but there's always some trend - going up, or going down.

At this point I recognized - this "crash" isn't indicative of a decline, it is what it is. I know and feel that the trend is going up. Right now I'm getting 1 or 2 good days a week, soon it will be 3 and 4, just like before. Life isn't a straight line, and it doesn't only curve up, and even if it does, it might curve down soon after. Don't be fooled by sudden movements and sharp changes - What is the trend?

Lesson from a thing:

You ever paid for someone's food or ticket to something, just as an act of good friendship or kindness? Not talking about strangers, but friends or relatives. I'm sure you have, and if you didn't, someone probably did that for you, or you witnessed something of that nature.

I found that this can be both an act of kindness, and an act of control, sometimes both at the same time even. Yes, it's nice when someone pays for you, but in this society, I don't feel like anything is ever free. You might be paying it back in the form of the other person's expectations of favors, attention, or just empathy.

It's hard to maintain faith in those acts of kindness, even when I do it myself, and know that I expect no gain. Not everyone is trying to control you by buying you lunch, but if you look closely at patterns of behavior with relatives, friends, and others, you might be surprised, just like I was.

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