“Confine yourself to observing and you always miss the point of your own life….Life the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play…”
Change is not a state of transition, it’s a thing by itself. The only thing that is consistent is change, and the times of change have their own language throughout our lifetime.
Ever remember something and ask yourself: “Yeah but why the hell am I thinking about this right now”?
I find myself remembering stuff, strong emotional memories of the past that haven’t come up in years. I think a time of change is like that second where the rollercoaster goes between climbing and falling, a moment of zero gravity when all the things that were deep down shoot up and surface, briefly. You can be fastened to where you are, but you can’t control what’s inside you, blood will rush up bringing whatever toxic stuff you got down there.
Those memories…are nice. The things I usually remember are not times of doubt, but of bliss. I think this is my brain trying to tell me how I used to have it better, times where I felt I had a strong anchor (or an illusion of anchor due to positive feelings). I find myself wondering - will those times ever return? Will I feel these feelings again? Joy? Love?
When you spend your life wondering, you never get to find out.