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Snack #17: The Wizard & The Cure for Fear

My session with Elijah was incredible. On our last day in Phoenix (which was a while ago) we found time to have 1 "Nourish" session. It started with an informed consent form, which only told me the boundaries of this session, but I didn't know what to expect really. After a few questions about where I was mentally, emotionally, and physically - we connected and started moving together. It wasn't Zouk or any specific form of dance, but just connecting and moving, while I close my eyes.


I was following him, but my mind was resisting the whole time, not understanding exactly what to do and just thinking "he's making me dance, but what's the point?" - but after a short while, I got perspective. I started feeling something, or rather be aware of what I was feeling underneath the surface. I came into the session in a mental fog, and that fog made it hard for me to understand how I feel.

Suddenly, being aware of being aware, I felt like not wanting to be moved. Being moved used to feel nice, and I was going with it for the whole first half of the session, but then at a certain point, I just realized it's not what I wanted to do anymore. Sometimes being moved, in all senses, does feel good - and sometimes it doesn't.


I realized that the fog was my feelings of fear and uncertainty. We all have that fog at times, and we shouldn't resist movement just because we fear the unknown, but we do because constant movement is uncomfortable. We like to be grounded at times.


There's a lot of movement happening in my life right now with the road trip, building a professional partnership, and looking for a place to call home, so maybe, in someplace in my mind, it became too much to handle. I don't want to be moved that much anymore. I wanted to, then I didn't, and that resistance caused me to hold tension in my mind and body.

What a wonderful realization to have from a short movement session. Thank you, Elijah.




A lesson from a thing:


Handling fear with curiosity: As a part of a lecture about emotions, and how they manifest in our brain, I learned of an interesting study done with snakes - they put people who are afraid of snakes next to snakes and looked at their brains with fMRI, which shows which areas in the brain are activated. It was found that the people who were able to hold out longer next to the snakes were the ones that had an internal monologue, encouraging themselves to "try and hold out, and see what happens". They took an approach of curiosity which helped them deal with their fears.


I have been trying to use it at times, especially in times when life hits hard, and I get anxious. In the face of those fears of uncertainty, I try to look at it as just another input to my "quest" - so this occurrence becomes another clue as to where I'm heading next, rather than something that holds me back from going to a very defined target.




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